


The Dynamic of Sacrifice

by pheral



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-06-14
Updated: 2002-06-14
Packaged: 2018-10-06 13:11:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10335440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pheral/pseuds/pheral
Summary: Summary: An examination of the thoughts of each team member in a horrible situation





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

The Dynamic of Sacrifice

#  Jack

No damnit! You get over here, don’t you dare lay a hand on Danny!

‘Hey fish-face, what are you, a wimp?’ he probably doesn’t even know what that word means but, hell, it’s caught his attention,

‘Can’t face the leader of the group? Have to pick on the team? Come over here and face a challenge sissy-boy.’

God Daniel looks scared, that alien is nearly two times his size leaning over him, casting a shadow over the poor civilian. I can’t let him have that innocence to play with; I can’t let him destroy what makes Daniel such a good counterweight to my cynicism. He always presumes the best, seeing the good side of things with youthful optimism. I know that he has his pains deep inside but they haven’t been blown open yet, he still has his defences, his beliefs. Mine are long gone. I watched them spiral away in some deep dark hole in a far away country. Rather like this dark hole actually.

‘That’s it you ugly brute – it’s me you want to prove yourself with, I can take anything you can dole out, just you try it.’

I really hope these aliens know the meaning of goading because it’s the only way I have of protecting my team when I’m tied like this – arms tight behind me bound around a pole, legs tied the same.

The alien’s changing direction, and he nearly comes towards me but his eye is caught by Carter who is tied beside me, and he raises his club to her face slowly.

‘Oh that’s right, take the easy way out, can’t face a man can you?!’

I really hope my voice isn’t as shaky as it feels, trying to summon confidence in a situation such as this is harder than it sounds. It helps to have my team here though, gives me reason to be strong. I can’t let them see me falter, they need their anchor and I need them thinking of ways to get us out of this pitiful situation. The brute finally takes an exasperated step towards me and I hear Carter’s despairing voice,

‘Sir?’

‘Can it, Major.’ I command, momentarily afraid that the alien will go back to her. But no, he’s had enough of my cajoling and steps up close to me. I can feel his putrid breath and see the anger in his eyes, well that’s right fella, there’s more words where they came from,

‘Starting to feel like a man are you? I wouldn’t count on it lasting.’ 

When he finally swings that club and hits me I hear Daniel gasp and chains clank noisily. I hardly feel my own pain – it’s on a level that I’ve traversed by now, it no longer matters. All my senses are concentrated on my team and their sounds. Even my cracking bones don’t obliterate the sound of Carter taking another breath, and another - something that it is my job to ensure she carries on doing for a good while yet.

The pain dulls slightly and I sense the alien shifting, his eyes roaming to my team,

‘You call that pain?’ I manage to choke out, in as annoying a voice as I can muster, ‘I’ve had far worse – you’re pathetic.’

I clench my teeth as he rises to the bait again and I thank my stars that I am able to talk, goad, taunt. Given that power I can control any situation and it doesn’t matter how I am restrained or held, my mind and mouth are always free and I can think and say what I like. And I do. And it might make things worse for me, but it sure makes things better for my team and that is my whole purpose here and now.

#  Daniel

It sickens me that I hang here and let Jack claim the alien’s attention. Sickens me that I can’t do the same for him, but there’s a paralysing fear stifling my brain and my mouth as the figure looms above me and a large part of my subconscious would do anything to escape unhurt. I cringe every time Jack spits out another goading sentence – I know he’s trying to attract the alien but I still wince as their eyes finally meet. Relief wars with distress and anger as I watch our captor head for my friend. I don’t think I’ll ever understand Jack’s sacrificial nature. How can a man be so ready to give himself for others? There was a time when he was ready to give up his life for nothing and I am sure this is better than then, but I still find it unfathomable. 

Teal’c and Sam understand it more than I do I think, although I’m sure they can’t fully comprehend how it manages it so well. Jack confuses my senses and perceptions; there is a part of him that drives me up the wall – a childish, sarcastic, badly behaved part of him that pesters me incessantly. And then there’s his serious side, more serious than his jokes would have you believe, and I think that’s why he is so confusing. There are things in that dark part of him that have to be given sharp relief by his childish mischief – it cannot be touched by darkness it seems, it’s impervious and stops him from becoming like the people that have given him this pain in the first place.

I know I’ll probably never know what’s so evil that lies in his past, in his soul, and I’m pretty sure I don’t want to. But I catch glimpses every now and then, and now as the alien moves towards him I see his eyes go dull. I guess his endurance comes from his ability to play hide and seek with his mind, he only lets the animals that plague him get to the things that he wants them to get to. So he has the ultimate control. Still, my fears are more grounded in reality and I feel my guilt flare as he receives a jarring blow from the club. I know my ego would have me believe I could sacrifice myself for him, and perhaps in a split second decision I could – god knows’ I’d try – but my mind feels weak and afraid. It shames me sometimes to feel so human when Jack seems to be able to be so un-human. And now is one of those times, as I watch him suffer for me, and do nothing to intercede.

#  Carter

I know that to talk is stupid but it comes out unbidden.

‘Sir?’ I know it might ruin his distraction technique but I can’t help but do something, and I’m almost relieved when he tells met to ‘can it’. Perhaps I just need to know that I’ve done enough to make him order me to stop, and then I can feel good about myself. In that way I suppose Colonel O’Neill is more alone than I can ever imagine. It is his sole responsibility to take the fall for all of us and he knows it. It is his purpose on this team to make sure that in a situation such as this we escape mentally and physically unscathed. Perhaps he doesn’t realize how harshly we empathize with his pain, but then, what choice does he have?

That side of the military saddens me sometimes, to know that a man like O’Neill gave up his choices long ago to some un-seeable power. He gave his life to the air force, to do with as they will, and it makes me sick that their decisions have led him to this place. A place where he is forced to bring punishment upon himself for no other reason that it being his job.

But perhaps I don’t give him enough credit when I think like that, because for all the control he seems to have vanquished, he harbors so much more. He controls this alien now so fiercely that I believe none of us will get hurt except the Colonel. Surely that control is stronger than any other he can hold? Perhaps. But for all this thinking we are still here and we are still caught, and he is still being beaten closer and closer to death in order to protect his team.

#  Teal'c

Suddenly there is an explosion of noise and I watch O’Neill fall limp as the alien stops his incessant torture. I recognize the sounds of a rescue in progress and my heart takes a leap. There is a scuffle of activity and panic during which I feel all of SG1’s energies concentrated on our leader. When we are finally liberated I fell proud for O’Neill; he has once again proven his ability to lead, proven his unabounding strength. I know far more than many Tau’ri about what lies beyond their planet, and I believe O’Neill knows as much as I.His acceptance when confronted by pain is startling and I find it amazing and somewhat inspiring that a man can be so strong and yet so gentle. His responsibility is not without feeling and I have been told that this is what it is to be ‘human’. If so, O’Neill truly does his species justice.

I watch Major Carter and Daniel Jackson gravitate towards him as we are released by SG2 and I join them in instantly surrounding his battered body. He is awake and I recognize that fierce protective nature burning in his eyes. I cannot, and never wish to, know how devastating it must have been for a man with such an overpowering sense of responsibility to lose his son in the manner that he did. It seems that many of O’Neill’s greatest strengths and traits ultimately lead him to suffer, and I see him suffer now as I try to carry him as gently as I can to the Stargate. I feel him relax in my arms and I know that we share a common warrior’s heart that allows him to accept my help graciously.

I do not pretend to understand many of earth’s rituals or the behaviors of its humans, but there is a part of O’Neill that I recognize very well. It is not good and it is not healthy, but it completes his ‘self’ and it protects his team – something that gives him small comfort I believe. I hope he is comforted now as I carry him through the Stargate, and I realize when I see Doctor Frasier and General Hammond that many around O’Neill appreciate him far more than he could ever appreciate himself. Perhaps this is how he survives, he has sacrificed his own self value to enable him to do his job, and his team takes up that task instead – recovering him from pain and caring for him when he cannot care for himself. Indeed it is clear that SG1 would have not survived many times without O’Neill’s sacrifices, and in turn O’Neill would not survive these sacrifices without SG1.

**The End**

  


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> This is my first POV attempt, thanks to Ruth for encouraging me to have a go and then liking the results!

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>   
> © May, 2002.The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp.  
> The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters  
> who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names,   
> titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and   
> solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.   
> 

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